Birthday Candles - Make a Vow!

Today I turned 39 and gave myself a most unusual gift - I took monastic vows. I mean serious, year-long vows. Before God and 5 supportive council members, I took Christian vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, and I took refuge in Buddhism's Triple Gem. I'm officially a monk. Congratulations! I hear you saying, all the while thinking, What the heck is she talking about?

In short, it means, I give up. "Here's the white flag, God; I surrender! Take it all...do with me what you will...I'm clearly not driving this bus anyway!" Rubber's finally hit road. My entire adult life I've steered this religious vocation--studying, working, planning events, doing ritual, teaching, counseling, holding the hands of the dying. I've spent countless hours exploring the faces of the Sacred. But I've never had the time to just be with God.

Until now. 

Prayer is now the axis upon which my days turn. Listening and loving trump all. I've heard the call, but instead of heading out, I'm staying put. I'm keeping a home for my dear kitty, Phoebe. I'm rooting into the riches of my neighborhood. Each day will follow a rhythm carried by the Liturgy of the Hours. Each week holds a day of complete silence and each season, an entire week of the same. All the choices I make in my 40th year will be shaped by my intention to be quiet, to slow down, to listen. My home here in the Berkeley hills is now my monastery and my room, my cell. 

I originally thought this was a crazy idea, but not one of my compatriots seemed the least bit surprised: "Oh, right. You're going to live as a monk, spend ridiculous amounts of time on your knees and write a book about God and Love. Of course you are, mk. Of course." Well then, I guess I'm more predictable than I realised. How miraculous it is to be known and loved in this way, where those closest can see the trail truer than I, where my tenuous path comes clearer, and is made passable, by their light. 

A thousand thank-yous to each of you, for your blessings upon this journey.