ash wednesday


and now, a guest post

by my stellar nephew, bobby. i guess sarcasm runs in the family. my book writing process has been deeply affirmed by this essay. really.

Bobby Gordon

Born in Raleigh, North Carolina, and currently attending Northwood High, Bobby Gordon has spent most of his educational career procrastinating on most every one of his assignments. Being mainly an honors student, Gordon has had many academic tasks throughout which he has learned all the ins and outs of being an efficient procrastinator, while still maintaining a respectable grade.  He is most noted for his 10th grade English essay on “Things Fall Apart,” which received an A and provoked suspicion of plagiarism while being completed in less than two hours, the night before it was due. Truly, superb stuff.

The Tool of Procrastination

This essay has been assigned for five days, yet I’m starting it less than twelve hours before it’s due.
To your run-of-the-mill, high school bumpkin, this would be traumatic. However, we Procrastinauts thrive on this stress-induced reservoir of creativity. Oh, by the way, we prefer the term Procrastinaut. Meaning voyager, the suffix ‘-naut’ really allows the true art of procrastinating to be shown. We trek into the valley of the unknown, with the only truth being that our time is limited.
Yes, of course it would be ‘better’ to plan your work and divide it into equal portions across a sensible time frame blah blah blah. Are you really going to do that? Where is the passion? Where are your ambitions? Your true persona? Not in that essay, I’ll tell you that much.

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